Memetics AI Front Desk — 24/7 AI Receptionist for HVAC, Roofing & Plumbing | $497 setup + $197/mo
AI Front Desk · HVAC · Roofing · Plumbing

Never miss another job.

A 24/7 AI receptionist on the line you already use. She answers every call, books the job to your calendar, and texts you the lead inside 60 seconds. Live in 24 hours. $497 setup, $197 a month.

15-minute walk-through

See it run on a real HVAC call.

Book your walk-through

I'll share my screen, run a live call through the receptionist, and quote your setup on the spot. No slide deck.

Book your 15-min call →
Live demo on the call No pressure Slots this week
24hrs
Live on your line
0:60
Owner SMS · every captured call
24/7
After-hours, weekends, holidays
2jobs
In 30 days · or full refund
What you get

More jobs. Same phone line.

The receptionist runs on the number you already give your customers. You change nothing. Your phones just start working harder than your team can.

Benefit 01

Every call answered. Day or night.

Two-ring pickup, 24/7. After-hours, weekends, holidays, lunch break — the calls your team would have missed turn into booked jobs instead.

Benefit 02

Jobs booked while you're on the truck.

She qualifies, pulls an open slot from your calendar, reads it back, and drops it on the dispatch board. ServiceTitan, Housecall Pro, Jobber, Google — pick your stack.

Benefit 03

Leads in your pocket in 60 seconds.

Every captured call drops a text on your phone — name, address, problem, urgency. Plus a missed-call text-back so anyone who hangs up still gets a reply before they dial your competitor.

// Vulnerability Assessment · Trades

Your phones are leaking money.

Four attack surfaces. Same shape I'd map on any critical infrastructure target at the day job. The AI Front Desk closes all four — one tool, one leak.

CVE · TRADES-01 Critical

Missed inbound calls during business hours.

Truck on a roof. Tech under a unit. Office handles one line. The second ring goes to voicemail and the homeowner already called the next guy on the list.

Avg leak $4,800 / month · 28-job shop
CVE · TRADES-02 Critical

After-hours and weekend ring-through to nobody.

Forty percent of HVAC and plumbing emergencies happen outside 9-5. The call hits your voicemail. They call a 24/7 competitor. You never knew you were in the running.

Avg leak $6,200 / month · 28-job shop
CVE · TRADES-03 High

Slow callback on form fills and missed-call voicemails.

Average callback in trades sits over 4 hours. Homeowner books with someone else inside 20 minutes. Every "I'll call them back after lunch" lead is gone.

Avg leak $2,400 / month · 28-job shop
CVE · TRADES-04 High

No-shows nobody reminded.

Booked job. Truck rolls. Nobody home. Cost of one drive-up burns the margin from two real calls. No SMS reminder is unprotected attack surface.

Avg leak $1,800 / month · 28-job shop
The Operator

Day job is cyber. Night job is the same — for trades.

I'm Markenzy. I work vulnerability management on a critical infrastructure team during business hours. Master's in Cybersecurity. Security+. CySA+. The same threat-modeling I run on enterprise networks, I run on your shop's intake pipeline.

No marketing-agency framing. No "let me transform your business." I find the leak, deploy the patch, and hand you a system that runs without me.

Built five live AI deployments in 2026. Run a 13-0 boxer's whole business on the same stack I sell trades shops.

memetics@orlando · ~/operator

whoami --stack

role

cyber operator · vulnerability management

employer

critical infrastructure security firm


creds --list

M.S. Cybersecurity

CompTIA Security+

CompTIA CySA+


deploys --year 2026

law firm intake — 5 live

trades pilot — open

athlete operations — 1 live (DAZN-card boxer)


moat --describe

// the only AI build practice in this price band

// run by an active cyber operator. nobody else

// brings vulnerability discipline to a $5M shop.

First 5 HVAC shops · setup fee waived

The first five shops to book before June 26 skip the $497 setup. Pay $197/month. Live in 24 hours.

Normally $497 to build the receptionist on your line. Five seats — first to book a 15-minute call locks one. No contract. Cancel anytime.

1 of 5
Seats claimed
Deadline · June 26, 2026
The Offer

One tool. One leak. Closed.

A 24/7 AI receptionist on your existing business line. She answers, books the job to your calendar, and texts you the lead inside 60 seconds.

// Be clear on the call

What this is not.

  • × Not ad management
  • × Not a website rebuild
  • × Not a full CRM migration
  • × Not a 90-day onboarding
  • × Not a contract

It's one tool that closes one specific leak: missed calls turning into booked jobs. Everything else stays the way you run it today.

$694 total for month one. $197 every month after. Most shops break even on the first captured call.

How a Build Runs

Four steps. Under 24 hours.

Sign in the morning. Live by next morning. No long onboarding, no kickoff deck, no implementation team.

Step 01
Hour 0–1

Sign + Intake

15-minute call. Services, hours, service area, pricing FAQ, call-out fee, after-hours rules. You answer, I write the script.

Step 02
Hour 1–8

Build + Forward

I train the receptionist on your business, plug her into your calendar, set up SMS routing. You forward your line to her — no porting.

Step 03
Hour 8–24

Live + Test Calls

Five test calls in a row, end-to-end clean — answer, book, text under a minute. If anything misses I tune until it doesn't. Then I hand you the keys.

Step 04
Day 8 onward

Tune + Run

Monthly call review and one workflow tweak. New service line? Pricing change? Text me. The receptionist updates inside 24 hours.

FAQ

Real owner questions.

If your question isn't here, book the 15-minute call. I'd rather answer it on a screen-share than guess what you meant in a form.

No. You just called her. That's what it sounds like in production. Conversational pacing, real interruptions handled, your shop's brand voice. If a caller ever wants a human, she warm-transfers to whoever's on call.

Bilingual is a one-line config change. If a caller speaks Spanish she switches mid-call. Most Florida shops we touch turn it on day one.

Emergency keywords trigger an escalation path you define. She pulls the on-call tech's cell, dials, and bridges the call. If nobody answers in two rings she falls back to the next person on your list. Same logic as a security incident-response pager rotation.

Yes — through their APIs or via Zapier if their API is locked. Jobs land directly on your dispatch board with the address, contact, problem code, and source tag (AI Receptionist). No double entry.

24 hours from contract signed. We don't ship until five test calls run clean end-to-end — answer, book, text under a minute. No exceptions.

She runs overflow, after-hours, and Spanish first. Most shops keep their CSR for in-person walk-ins and on-the-truck coordination. The receptionist handles the volume the human can't. Same pattern as a Level-1 SOC analyst — she covers the noise, your human handles the signal.

No. Your number stays yours. We forward it to the AI line. No porting, no risk, no downtime. If you ever want to pull the plug, you flip the forwarding off and you're back to where you started in two minutes.

If the receptionist doesn't book at least 2 jobs in the first 30 days, you cancel and I refund the $497 setup. Month-to-month after that, cancel anytime. Your downside is zero. That's the close I'd want if I were you.

One more time

The phones keep ringing. Pick a slot.

The shops that win this year are the ones whose phones stop going to voicemail. Fifteen minutes from now, you'll know if your line should be next.

15-minute walk-through

Same offer. Same guarantee.

Book your walk-through

Two jobs in 30 days or your $497 back. Live in 24 hours. Cancel anytime.

Book your 15-min call →
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